Yesterday I ran 14 miles. A mile further than I've run in one go in my entire life. 14 miles is also the longest distance I'll be running in a day when I do my 4-day Grand Union Canal challenge in May. So today was big milestone.
I'm loving the training for this. But some days it's difficult. And the journey as a whole has been one filled with moments of self-doubt and fear as well as joy and pride. Typically, my longest run of the week is a mile or so longer than last week's. And although, over the weeks, I should have learnt that it's nothing to be afraid of, I still get anxious. With yesterday's, especially.
It's not the failure of my body that I'm afraid of. It's the failure of my mind. During miles 1 to 9, I had to bring myself back from "I'm never going to make it. There's such a long way to go" many times. After that, although it started to get harder physically, I knew that I would get there. The stuff going round in my mind dropped away and I was able to just be the run. And laugh with the people I met over and over again who were running or walking in never ending circles in the opposite direction around Ealing Fields.
When I started the training, my "long" runs were 6-7 miles. Back then, 8 felt like a challenge. 8 was the run I psyched myself up for. I did an 8 on Friday. And it felt like "only an 8". Somehow, as the distances have risen week by week, 8 has become an easy run. The trick has been never thinking ahead. Just seeing the runs I have to do this week. And focussing on them.
I've reached 14 and will probably go to 16, to get the weekly volume up and to increase my confidence. But the next challenge - and I expect I will be anxious about this too - is to do long runs on consecutive days.